What Do Retired People Do All Day?

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What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby bienxanhcn » 15 Jan 2009

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example,
The other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5
minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said:
- Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Mary called him a ****head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.

It's important at our age. :!:

ST.
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby loving-it » 15 Jan 2009

Đúng là gừng càng già càng cay... nhưng hai lão "gừng" này cay thiệt ! :cười:
BX :hoa:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby littlehoney999 » 15 Jan 2009

bó người bạn gởi cái này qua email nên đem share chung topic với BX nè
:D


Old is Gold ^_* ??

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding.... ......
Older Woman: "Is there a problem, Officer?"

Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding."



Older Woman: "Oh, I see."

Officer: "Can I see your license please?"

Older Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

Officer: "Don't have one? "

Older Woman: "Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. "

Officer: "I see.......Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. "

Older Woman: "I can't do that. "

Officer: "Why not? "

Older Woman: "I stole this car. "

Officer: "Stole it? "

Older Woman: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."

Officer: "You what? "

Older Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.



Officer 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!" The woman steps out of her vehicle.




Older woman: "Is there a problem sir?"
Officer 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

Older Woman: "Murdered the owner? "

Officer 2: "Yes, would you open the trunk of your car, please."

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"

Older Woman: "Yes, of course, here are the registration papers." The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a driver's license and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."

Older Woman: "Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too."
ST

Em không làm thi nhân hay thi sĩ
Em chỉ làm tri kỷ của riêng anh :luv: :ôm:

Một Nụ cười bằng 10 thang thuốc bổ :) Không cười thì lỗ ráng chịu nghen ^_*

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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby bienxanhcn » 15 Jan 2009

:vt: :ôm: Cảm ơn LH đã share nghen :hoa: tiếp nè :

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Nebraska. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
-I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I m going to retrieve it.
The old farmer replied:
- This is my property, and you are not coming over here.
The indignant lawyer said:
- I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.
The old farmer smiled and said:
- Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Nebraska. We settle small disagreements like this; with the Three Kick Rule.
The lawyer asked:
- What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?
The Farmer replied:
- Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed
work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! .
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said:
-Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said:
-Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.

ST. :tt:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby littlehoney999 » 15 Jan 2009

LH có đọc bài trên :tt: :!: chắc tại lawyer tính toán cao quá nên bị lọt con số nhỏ :cười: :tt:

When Gramma goes to court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

ST

Em không làm thi nhân hay thi sĩ
Em chỉ làm tri kỷ của riêng anh :luv: :ôm:

Một Nụ cười bằng 10 thang thuốc bổ :) Không cười thì lỗ ráng chịu nghen ^_*

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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby loving-it » 16 Jan 2009

No question ask your honor! :dh:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby littlehoney999 » 16 Jan 2009

wouldn't dare to ask :cười: :tt:
thầy trò đều giống nhau phải hông LI :ll: :ll:

Em không làm thi nhân hay thi sĩ
Em chỉ làm tri kỷ của riêng anh :luv: :ôm:

Một Nụ cười bằng 10 thang thuốc bổ :) Không cười thì lỗ ráng chịu nghen ^_*

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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby bienxanhcn » 16 Jan 2009

Hahahahaha, that's a good one Thanks LH :hoa:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby Pomponius Porphyrion » 17 Jan 2009

:ôm: :ôm: :ôm: :ôm: :ôm: na~y gio8` ddo.c 1 ddo'ng truye^.n cu*o*`i, but i love this one, kakak :ôm: :ôm: :ôm: thanks for sharring
ăn xoài đừng lấy xòai chua. chơi bạn đừng để bạn cua bồ mình
CuTe EnUf 2 MaKe U lOoK tWiCe, SwEeT eNuF bUt NoT 2 nIcE, a LiL cRaZy BuT nOt 2 WiLd, ThE kInDa GiRl ThAt WiLl MaKe U sMiLe.
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby bienxanhcn » 20 Jan 2009

Ủa! Nhà này có mấy Út lận ta? :?:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby luckymit » 20 Jan 2009

bienxanhcn wrote:Ủa! Nhà này có mấy Út lận ta? :?:


Nhiều út lắm. BX ơi ... :cười:

Út... VT , Út ngọt như mật :cười: ,... Út chua... Đếm khô hết
:cười:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby littlehoney999 » 15 Feb 2009

luckymit wrote:
bienxanhcn wrote:Ủa! Nhà này có mấy Út lận ta? :?:


Nhiều út lắm. BX ơi ... :cười:

Út... VT , Út ngọt như mật :cười: ,... Út chua... Đếm khô hết
:cười:



ủa có Út chua huh anh LM??? :ln:




thêm chuyện cho topic BX nè

Image

A guy is 70 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say a gain,'Pick me up.'

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.

I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'

ST

Em không làm thi nhân hay thi sĩ
Em chỉ làm tri kỷ của riêng anh :luv: :ôm:

Một Nụ cười bằng 10 thang thuốc bổ :) Không cười thì lỗ ráng chịu nghen ^_*

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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby bienxanhcn » 20 Feb 2009

Hihihihihihihihihi...........Smart man. Thanks LH :hoa:
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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby littlehoney999 » 21 Feb 2009

bienxanhcn wrote:Hihihihihihihihihi...........Smart man. Thanks LH :hoa:


nhớ bên kia..BX nói là ko chịu "hun" cô tóc quăn muh..tưởng là mún lựa chọn khác :!:

Em không làm thi nhân hay thi sĩ
Em chỉ làm tri kỷ của riêng anh :luv: :ôm:

Một Nụ cười bằng 10 thang thuốc bổ :) Không cười thì lỗ ráng chịu nghen ^_*

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Re: What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Postby Mít Xanh » 04 May 2009

hahaha
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