A young fellow was about to be maried and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it.
His grandfather told him that when you first get maried, you want it all the time... and maybe do it several times a day. Later on, sex tapers of and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year...maybe on your anniversary.
The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?"
His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."
"What's oral sex?" the young fellow asked.
"Well," grandpa said, "she goes to bed in her bedroom and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'screw you', and I holler back, 'screw you too!"
=================================
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty"
==================================
An 82 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the old man walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The old man replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: "get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, "You've got a heart murmur. Be care ful."
================================
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they
pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
"Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers "Yes".
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, sclerosis? "
Pharmacist: "Definitely."
Jacob: "How about Viagra?"
Pharmacist: "Of course."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."
Jacob says to the pharmacist: "We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please."
Thank you!
